TV News' Useful Lexicon

(From Newsblues)

LOST REMOTE's STEVE SAFRAN helps us understand what those news anchors are really saying using this TV TRANSLATOR GUIDE.

"Our Team Coverage"
Old: Four reporters on a big story that requires several locations to tell properly.
New: Eighteen reporters on a non-story, possibly standing within inches of each other.

"We have new details..."
Old: We have found out additional facts that are new and pertinent to your understanding of this complex story.
New: We got nothin', but we're rewriting the copy in the present tense.

"Storm Central is in full gear!"
Old: A major, possibly record-breaking storm is headed our way and there is important information you need to know for your safety.
New: It's looking sorta cloudy, isn't it?

"We have a crew on the way."
Old: We have a crew on the way.
New: We just saw the story on the other channel and we're calling in our truck guy from his day off.

"We're sending out our chopper."
Old: Because there's a riot in the streets, and aerials will provide perspective as to its intensity, range and danger.
New: Because the promos say we will.

"We are the number one news station in town!"
Old: We won in the ratings.
New: We won in the ratings among 34-59 year old middle-income white females earning $34,500-$52,875 with two or fewer kids who are expected to purchase shoes in the next quarter.

Tim Harmon, thanks for the post.