TV Q&A Humor

(From The Yahoo Avid User's Group)

Q: How many producers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: I don't know, can I see it again? I don't know, what do you think?

Q: How many editors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: NONE. It's fine the way it is. Does it really need changing?

Q: How many directors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. Well try it with two. How does it work with three. How was it with one again.

Q: How many editors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One to change it and four to say "I could have done that!"

Q: How many art directors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Does it have to be a lightbulb? Did you try to overlay it over the video?

Q: How many sound guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Who needs light? I'm an audio guy.

Q: How many PBS producers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Six. Two to research, three to fly to London to buy the lightbulb, and one to put it in.

Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to tie up the giraffe and one to put the clocks in the bathtub.

Q: How many actors does it take to change a lighghtbub?
A: Five. One to go up the ladder and four to say, "That should be me up there!"

Q: How many sound mixers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Just one if you can lift the chair high enough.

Q: How many stunt men does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Nine. One to change it and eight to tell him what a great job he did.

Q: How many agency producers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: I don't know. Bob, what do you think?

Q: Why do soundmen only count up to two?
A: Because on three you lift.

Q: How can you tell the difference between a PA and a grip?
A: A PA can spell grip.

Q: How do you hurt a producer?
A: Lock em in a dark closet with a "C" stand.

Q: Why do sound recordists like working on Sundays?
A: The newspapers are thicker.

Q: How can you spot the sound recordists kid at the ballpark?
A: He's the kid sleeping under the umbrella while all the other kids are playing.

Q: What does your dad do for a living?
A: Nothing. He's a soundman.

Q: What was the last thing Jesus said to the Teamsters?
A: "You guys don't do nuttin' till I get back."

Q: How do you tell a cameraman at a diner party?
A: Don't worry, he'll soon tell you.

Q: What's the difference between a pig and a grip?
A: A pig wouldn't f#ck a grip.

Q: What's the difference between a generator and a sound man?
A: The generator stops whining at the end of the day.

Q: What's the difference between God and the DP?
A: God doesn't think he's a DP.

Q: Why do dollies have push handles?
A: To teach grips how to walk upright.