Dating Habits Can Lead To High Drama

(From The Orlando Sentinel -- By Marisol Novak)

Hello, my name is MARISOL NOVAK, and I'm an actress. Well, to be fair to myself, I'm a recovering actress -- three years removed from the "business," three years scared straight from the stage.

Ok, great. New tidbit about my life -- but who cares? And what the heck does acting have to do with dating?

Well, actually, it has a lot to do with my own personal dating habits. See, my formative dating years, my first firsts, you might even say my sexual revolution occurred while I was embedded in an acting conservatory.

I learned about the birds and the bees from boys who weren't quite sure whether they were the birds or the bees, the innies or the outies, the stamens or those other parts of the flower. These were boys who had no room to love -- they were much too busy loving themselves or loving other boys.

Loving an actor, or even lusting after an actor, is theater at its finest. The drama of devastation, acts of agony, the climax of climaxing and the frustration of the finale. Except it's not an act. You are really dating.

Needless to say, my first few relationships were a little over the top. I'd like to say things have changed since I gave up acting for writing -- but if you've been reading this column you'll know that's not the case.

Seems writers have a penchant for the dramatic, and traumatic as well. Maybe it's because both careers are creative. We create characters that we want to be memorable, passionate, intriguing -- and in order to do that, we live those lives and relationships first, before portraying them.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that all of these bad relationships I keep experiencing are just occupational hazards -- and perhaps all I need to do to solve this problem is switch careers.

Yes, that's the solution. Follow Mom's advice -- Go to law school; get a real job; and a nuclear, normal relationship should follow as is the nature of our species according to GENESIS.

Except DARWINISM is the dominant theory of our time, of the learned anyway. And the SOCIAL DARWINISM of our society states that all relationships, no matter what career you're in, are going to be mighty screwed up.

All of my female friends, my pink gay pals, my go-to guys, regardless of career or income bracket -- all have horrible relationships. Granted, they might not think they're awful now -- but give it a few months.

I'm not sure why. It could be that we, as a species, have evolved to such a point that happiness is no longer necessary for survival but drama is.

Could be we've evolved past a point where we need to continue monogamous relationships past the point of procreation.

Or it could just be that the writers and actors have put into our heads -- through literature and films -- that those torrid, traumatic interactions with the opposite sex are the norm.

Wouldn't that be just like those selfish entertainers, to force us all to suffer for their art?

Of course, I'm one of those entertainers. So I guess I should just shut up and say thank goodness for SOCIAL DARWINISM devolving into DATING DARWINISM -- it's made for some kick-ass columns.