THE HOLLYWOOD DICTIONARY

VERBS
Schmooze = Befriend scum.
Pitch = Grovel shamelessly.
Brainstorm = Feign preparedness.
Research = Procrastinate indefinitely.
Network = Spread disinformation.
Collaborate = Argue incessantly.
Freelance = Collect unemployment.

NOUNS
Agent = Frustrated lawyer.
Lawyer = Frustrated producer.
Producer = Frustrated writer.
Writer = Frustrated director.
Director = Frustrated actor.
Actor = Frustrated human.

COMPOUND WORDS
High-concept = Low brow.
Production value = Gore.
Entry-level = Pays nothing.
Highly qualified = Knows the producer.
Network approved = Had made them money.

FINANCIAL TERMS
Net = Something that apparently doesn't exist.
Gross = VP's salary.
Back-end = You, if you think you'll ever see it.
Residuals = Braces for the kids.
Deferral = Don't hold your breath.
Points = See "net" or "back-end."

COMMON PHRASES
You can trust me = You must be new.
It needs some polishing = Change everything.
It shows promise = It stinks rotten.
It needs some fine tuning = Change everything.
I'd like some input = I want total control.
It needs some honing = Change everything.
Call me back next week = Stay out of my life.
It needs some tightening = Change everything.
Try and punch it up = I have no idea what I want.
It needs some streamlining = Change everything.
You'll never work in this town again = I have no power whatsoever.