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After BILL GATES reportedly made fun of GENERAL MOTORS, saying that if the company kept pace with the computer industry, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon, the car maker hit back.

If GM had developed technology like MICROSOFT,
we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

* For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash -- twice
a day.

* Sometimes your car would die for no reason, requiring you to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it and reopen the windows.

* Occasionally your car would shut down and refuse to start, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

* MACINTOSH would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive -- but it would run on only 5% of the roads.

* The airbag system would ask, "Are you sure?"
before deploying.