It's Time To Break Some Old Habits

(From The Orlando Sentinel -- By Marisol Novak)

Everyone knows that three little words rule all of our lives.

These three little words contain the meaning of life. They can bring angst and agony. Ecstasy and excitement. Pleasure and pain.

In other words, these are the most dominant, important, life-affirming (life-altering and controlling as well) words in the universe. You know what they are, c'mon say them with me -- LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION.

What? You thought "I LOVE YOU" was going to top the list? Please.

WHERE YOU LIVE IS INFINITELY MORE IMPORTANT AND CERTAINLY HAS A MORE SIGNIFICANT IMPACT ON HAPPINESS than "I love you." In fact, location has more to do with love than "I love you" -- or at least more to do with finding someone to love.

I bring this up because I found myself falling into old habits this past week. I found myself looking for love in all the wrong places, mainly work. And judging by my last catastrophic coital connection with PETER PAN -- we all know I should avoid office romances.

So what's a single girl, determined to get back to dating, supposed to do to meet a new group of guys?

Duh, obviously, it's time to move locations.

I hate the thought of it, but yes, it's time to move along.

Not that I'm so sad to kiss this borough bye-bye. Let's be honest; scraping by in the ritzy, chic area of ORLANDO isn't exactly making for meaningful relationships for me. [BRISTOL and CONNECTICUT ain't no picnic either.] And I'm seriously thinking that my apartment has got some funky, freaky feng shui. And I have recently dated the devil, which means I must live in close proximity to a portal to hell.

And truthfully, I have much more in common with jaded smart people than I do with smug rich people -- I really just settled down in this area because I wanted to be a smug rich person. Or marry and divorce one.

Just think of all the new neighbors I'll get to meet, and borrow tools from, and ask to open (and share) my bottles of red wine? Who knows what else we'll be able to share?

Besides, I'll need someone to show me around the neighborhood. You know, where the closest bar within walking/stumbling distance is? Best take-out Chinese? Where to get condoms -- in a hurry? All really great ways to meet new boys without any excess exertion or embarrassment.

And cutting ties, throwing out the old, sanitizing after a draining toxic relationship is always a good idea. You don't have to worry about the past coming back into your life to bite you on the butt. Moving forces you to just have to focus on the future.

Now, if I could just focus on which location, location, location in town contains all the cute, sexy, single smart boys, I think this move could actually work out.