A Camera Doesn't Lie, But BRITNEY'S Seems Terribly Misguided

(From The Hartford Courant -- By Roger Catlin)

When paparazzi chase you 24 hours a day, it may give you the false impression that your every move must be fascinating.

That must have been the motivation for once-hot pop star BRITNEY SPEARS to share the kind of home-video footage most of us wouldn't burden even our closest friends with to create her first reality show, BRITNEY AND KEVIN: CHAOTIC, for UPN.

She shot most of Tuesday's debut episode herself, which means a lot of shaky shots of her entourage and her surroundings. Glimpses of the pop star come via the mirror or in extreme close-ups -- Hello, Britney's nose! Hello, odd contours of her teeth! Hello, skin problems!

Britney first shoots out of boredom, then she subjects her staff to interview questions -- What do you think of marriage and commitment? And then -- What is your favorite sex position?

Should any other employer pursue such a line of inquiry, she could expect a harassment lawsuit.

JC CHASEZ, hanging around because he's the opening act, declines to answer the sex question. Britney thinks he's shy -- actually he has a modicum of class.

It's as if she aimed at a TRUTH OR DARE approach akin to her idol MADONNA, but in a TV mold of the MTV hit NICK AND JESSICA: NEWLYWEDS by showing the progress of what became her SECOND marriage.

But those dim pop stars seem like the sophisticated NICK AND NORA of THE THIN MAN series compared with the crude hooking up at this relationship's heart.

As for KEVIN FEDERLINE, soon to become the butt of many a comedian's jokes, he seems to be an anonymous, slightly clueless guy she hooked up with in L.A. and for whom she flies to London for her gratification. She gave the details of their sex life to her hairdresser and -- through her camera -- to 3.46 million viewers at home.

Our reaction is like his -- Who asked?

[If anyone caught Britney and Kevin on THE ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW on Tuesday this week, you know just how misguided she is -- that is, if you had any doubt.]