As I've Matured

I've learned you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned one good turn gets most of the blankets.

I've learned no matter how much I care, some people are just jackasses.

I've learned it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

I've learned you shouldn't compare yourself to others -- they're more screwed up than you think.

I've learned depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

I've learned it's not what you wear; it's how you take it off.

I've learned you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.

I've learned ex's are like fungus, and keep coming back.

I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

I've learned I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.

I've learned we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities (or think we are).

I've learned artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

I've learned 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it.

I've learned there is a fine line between genius and insanity.