ANDY REID had put together the perfect Eagles team, missing only a stud quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, even the Canadian and European leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer to guarantee a SUPERBOWL win.
One night he was watching a war-zone scene in Iraq on TV. In the background of one shot, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away. KA-BOOM! He threw another grenade 75 yards, pitching it right into a chimney. KA-BLOEY! Then he threw another into a car passing at 90 mph. BULL'S-EYE!
"I've got to get this guy!" Reid shouted. "He's got the perfect arm!"
He finds him and brings him to THE STATES and teaches him the great game of football.
The Eagles go on to win THE SUPERBOWL. The young Iraqi is hailed as a great hero, and when Reid asks him what he wants, he says he wants to call his mother.
"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the SUPERBOWL!"
"I don't want to talk to you," the old woman snaps. "You deserted us. You are not my son!"
"You don't understand, mother," the quarterback pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."
"No. Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. The elections are a joke, your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped or mugged."
The old lady pauses, then tearfully adds, "I will never forgive you for making us move to Philadelphia."
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