Big Payoff For Milk-Drinking Batboy?

(From MSNBC.com)

An unidentified FLORIDA MARLINS BAT BOY -- SUSPENDED FOR TAKING A MILK-DRINKING DARE from a player -- is finding A FINANCIAL BOON may come with his SUDDEN FAME.

The batboy was SUSPENDED BY THE TEAM FOR SIX GAMES for accepting
A DARE from DODGERS Pitcher BRAD PENNY to DRINK A GALLON OF MILK IN AN HOUR WITHOUT THROWING UP. Penny used to pitch for THE MARLINS. According to Penny, the boy drank the milk in the allotted time, but could not keep it down.

In the wake of the suspension, THE MILK PROCESSOR EDUCATION PROGRAM is offering to pay the batboy $500, THE ORIGINAL PRIZE OF THE DARE, plus any LOST WAGES that resulted from the suspension, ESPN reported on Thursday. According to the report, the batboy MUST AGREE TO DRINK THREE GLASSES OF MILK A DAY, but not all at ONE SITTING.

Also, according to ESPN, THE TWINS' MINOR-LEAGUE TEAM in FORT MYERS, FLORIDA has offered to have the boy as AN HONORARY BATBOY during their game on Monday.

"Similar to A REHAB STINT, we want to help this kid STAY ON TOP OF HIS GAME," FORT MYERS MIRACLE General Manager STEVE GLINER told ESPN. "Instead of CRYING OVER SPILT MILK, we decided to offer him THE HONORARY POST."
[Ok, that line was bad.]

According to THE MIAMI HERALD, Penny was angry about the suspension.

"It's kind of RIDICULOUS that you get A 10-GAME SUSPENSION FOR STERIODS and A SIX-GAME SUSPENSION FOR MILK," Penny told the paper.

Penny pitched for THE MARLINS from 2000 until the middle of last season, when he was TRADED TO THE DODGERS.

"It's ridiculous that they worry about stuff like that," Penny told THE HERALD. "It shows they (THE MARLINS ORGANIZATION) don't know anything about the game. That kind of stuff goes on everywhere. It didn't affect the way he worked, the way he did his job."

[See Beers, you CAN turn competitive eating into a business. Got milk?]

Scott O'Leary, thanks for the post.